What is power?

I’ve been reflecting on a difficulty I’ve had with a friend, who I occasionally work with. I should mention that I am usually directing or instructing this person, along with others. We were both at fault, but this person refused to take any of the responsibility for the situation. When I apologised for anything in my attitude that caused offence, this person just sat and nodded as if I was exonerating them and they had won.

There are many factors at play in this. What has struck me is the feeling, or atmosphere of competition. What are you possibly winning if you cannot admit to a mistake? Or admit to something positive about yourself? Or compliment another? These are my thoughts…

In acknowledging something that someone else (not you) has done, or something that you have not done, you’re admitting to a weakness or that someone else is good at something. It can take power away from you and gives it to someone else – if you let it. 

In a competition, its about trying to gain that power for yourself, all for yourself, not sharing. So, if you compliment someone or say something positive, its a failure or weakness on your part, because you’re giving away power – the very thing that you and everyone else is searching to hold onto.

What is power?

Power = Work done / Time

Power is the ability to get work done in a particular time. We can exercise power over ourselves to get the work done, or over other people to get the work done.

We gain power to do the work ourselves through learning skills and other information, developing our knowledge, increasing self awareness and so on. We gain power to get other people to do work for us though relationships – through influence, respect  or perhaps fear.

Some individuals enable themselves to get the work done through developing skills and knowledge. A by-product, if you will, of doing this, is that they also gain some influence and respect with others, and thus the power to get others to do work for them – not for themselves personally, but for others, the work itself, whatever. The power they have over others is mutual.

Some individuals seek to gain the power of influence or respect (or fear) alone, getting others to do work  so they don’t have to. This manifests in different ways that are kind of obvious – power through threats, though carrying weapons, through shouting, through blackmail.

It manifests in non obvious ways as well, and the one I’ve noticed is the power of expertise, The Expert who is experienced or skilled in a particular field. Initially, it looks like the power to do the work itself, and maybe it began like that, but it isn’t any longer. The Expert  never does the actual work themselves, instead imposing their vision on others, becoming defensive with anyone who asks questions or with similar expertise. The Expert takes every oppertunity to talk about their expertise, and tell stories, but is unable to share or teach or enable others to grow in their skills. The Expert holds onto their skills or knowledge tightly for themselve, for their own power.

Then I thought of some of the texts used at Masses in the last week:

… the world with all it craves for is coming to an end; but anyone who does the will of God remains forever
1 John 2: 12-17

and

But you have not lost the anointing that he gave you and you do not need anyone to teach you; the anointing he gave you teaches you everything; you are anointed with truth, not with a lie.
1 John 2: 22-28

And today,

Now, O Kings, understand
take warning, rulers of the earth;
serve the Lord with awe and trembling, pay him your homage.
Psalm 2

 I’m reminded that God is Almighty – He is All-mighty and All-powerful. Yes, we may be experts or managers, not for ourselves, but for God. God has anointed us and taught us to do exactly what he calls us to do, here and now. And ultimately, that the things that we may hold onto of the world or think are really important now will pass.

Whatever I’m good at here and now, or however much power I have – I only have it because God has given it. It only matters how I use it – for myself or for God. Because power or knowledge or skills will fade and pass, but doing God’s will lasts.

 

the balance

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Sometimes I think I am home to a paradox. On one hand, I desire nothing more that the space and comfort to read and to write, to watch films, to listen to and to play music, to sing songs and go for walks and cook interesting food. On the other, I desire to share, to listen, to be heard and to experience life with others. The thought of working on Monday or ‘enforced’ time with others, of being ‘on show’ as a good example, of duty…. it is not appealing.

I feel like I am free to do what I will, up until 8.30am on Monday morning, and then it becomes duty and I am subject to the whims and petty desires and grievances of others.

I often feel drained by the challenge of this paradox, because both extremes require time. The time of being with others, and the time of just being, which in turn enables me to be with others…  I feel a pressure to project a particular aspect of my being – positive and engaging – while at the same time not projecting or expressing all sorts of other thoughts and feelings – because it is my duty, because of the effect or response it may elicit from others.

If I hide awayand see no one or if I am constantly with others, I become tired, cynical, boring… and listless.

Is it possible to do both?